American Newsreel » Just for the Hell of It

Feeding their Twinkie habit

Doug Thompson — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 17:54:29 +0000

Two Gray residents, allegedly caught hiding out with about $300 worth of snack cakes taken from trucks parked outside a Kingsport bread company, were arrested Friday.

According to a Sullivan County Sheriff’s Office report, a deputy responded to the Merita Bread Co., 5446 Fort Henry Drive, about 11:38 p.m. An employee had called to report that he could hear someone in one of the trucks.

Upon arrival, the deputy found footprints leading into one truck that had about $300 worth of Hostess snacks – Cupcakes, MiniMuffins, Streusel Cakes, Twinkies, Zingers and 100 Calorie Cakes – piled up beside it.

A search of the area revealed the two men were hiding underneath the truck with the cakes stacked beside it.

Ending the birthday party arms race

Doug Thompson — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 16:15:36 +0000

Reports The Associated Press:

Having decided on a ballerina theme for her daughter’s sixth birthday party, Michelle West drove all over to find little dancers for the cake. Then she put 50 little beefeater guards around the edges. And she gave it beautiful white icing with peppermint trim.
And what happened? The kids wouldn’t eat it.
It wasn’t long afterward that she joined a group of St. Paul parents determined to end the birthday party arms race.
Birthdays Without Pressure is taking aim at the oneupsmanship that drives moms and dads to throw parties that will really, really impress the kids and the other parents, too.
“We feel there’s a kind of cultural runaway going on right now around the birthday parties of kids,” said William Doherty, a University of Minnesota professor of family social science who had a hand in organizing the group, launched publicly earlier this month.
Birthdays Without Pressure has started a Web site and launched a media campaign.

A good reason for road rage

Doug Thompson — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 16:07:06 +0000

Seems Americans like to do just about anything while behind the wheel of a car.
Except drive.
Reports Reuters:

Talk on the phone while you’re driving? Fix your makeup? Check e-mail? You’re not alone.
A survey released on Monday shows 81 percent of Americans do more than drive when they’re behind the wheel.
More than eight of 10 people surveyed by Nationwide Mutual Insurance said they adjust the radio or music while they drive, while 73 percent talk on the phone, 68 percent eat, 19 percent send text messages and 5 percent checked their e-mail.
Personal hygiene was also a big driver distraction, with 19 percent fixing their hair, 12 percent putting on makeup and 2 percent shaving while at the controls of a car.
“Clearly Americans have much to do and little time to do it, so to cope with that we’ve become multi-taskers,” said Bill Windsor, associate vice president of Safety at Nationwide.
“The problem with that is driving requires focus, and multi-tasking while driving puts you and your fellow drivers at risk.”
Drivers in the survey also admitted to changing seats with passengers, watching a movie, painting their toenails, nursing a baby and putting in contact lenses while driving.
Younger drivers multi-task the most, the survey found, with 35 percent of 18-to-27 year olds saying they always multi-task in the car, compared to 21 percent of baby boomers.
Windsor said the consequences for young drivers are severe, with car accidents being the number one cause of death for Americans aged 18 to 27.
“The bottom line is if it can be done in the kitchen, bathroom, office or bedroom, it should not be done in the car,” Windsor said.

Nice ride

Doug Thompson — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 11:09:36 +0000

Like many car nuts, we have long lusted after an original 427 Cobra, the hybrid sports car that racing legend Carroll Shelby built in the 60s.
Looks like our lust is too big for most people’s pocketbook.
A rare, 800-hp “Super Snake” Cobra that Shelby drove as his personal transportation for years went on the auction block — and sold for $5.5 million.

The inmates are running the asylum

Doug Thompson — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 21:59:57 +0000

More proof that morons run the Department of Homeland Security and the Transportation Security Administration.
Reports The Associated Press:

Troy Smith’s Heisman Trophy was shipped home Tuesday to keep it safe and avoid the type of mishap that happened the last time an Ohio State player won the award.
Smith wore a black leather jacket with the Heisman insignia on back when he arrived at the airport from New York, where he was presented college football’s most coveted trophy.
Eddie George, the last Buckeye to win the Heisman in 1995, had his trophy get stuck in an airport X-ray machine, losing the tip of its right index finger and bending the middle finger.
“We decided to have it shipped. That’s much easier. How times have changed. Eddie carried it on the plane and put it in the seat next to him,” sports information director Steve Snapp said.
Smith didn’t mind.
“No, because Eddie’s finger got bent,” he said. “I don’t want that to happen to mine.”

Mel pisses off someone else

Doug Thompson — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 18:51:13 +0000

First it was the Jews, not the Mayans are pissed off at actor-director Mel Gibson. They claim his latest film, Apocalypto, is a “demeaning and untrue” portrayal of thei Mayan culture. Time for Lethal Weapon 5?

The farting terrorist

Doug Thompson — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 16:23:47 +0000

A woman on an American Airlights flight en route to Dallas farted. So she did what some people do with they fart. She lit a match to cover the…er…fragrence of flatulence.
Other passengers smelled the burning sulphur of the match and thought someone was trying to light a bomb. So the plane made an emergency landing in Nashville and the FBI questioned everyone before discovering the farting terrorist.
The plane was allowed to continue without the human gas bomb.

Brokeback mountain leads Oscars

Doug Thompson — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:59:02 +0000

Well this ought to give the homophobes in the White House and Congress heartburn this morning.

Brokebrack Mountain, director Ang Lee’s story about two gay cowboys, leads the Oscar nominations.

This will, no doubt, result in the American Family Association and other gay-bashing conservative organizations calling for a boycott of the Oscar telecast.

You’re Fired…And You Won!

Doug Thompson — Wed, 07 Sep 2005 13:40:27 +0000

Jim Garrison, a Colorado computer engineer, won a free cruise, but he had to get fired to win the prize.
Garrison, fired from his job for eating two pieces of pizza left over from a company meeting, won a contest sponsored by Simplyfired.com, which solicited the “most outrageous” stories about how people lost their jobs.
Garrison, who won a free cruise that will include semi-celebrities fired from Donald Trump’s show The Apprentice.
The runners-up included these bizarre stories: a furniture mover who got fired after he and a co-worker were caught fencing with some adult sex toys that they found in a customer’s bedroom; a worker who misunderstood a manager’s instructions to send some sensitive data to microfilm and e-mailed it to a “Michael Finn” instead; and a warehouse worker found doing perverse things with the prosthetics made by his employer.

Maybe They Should be PET&A

Doug Thompson — Fri, 19 Aug 2005 13:32:49 +0000

We learned long ago that PETA (People For the Ethicial Treatment of Animals) will do just about anything for publicity, even using a semi-nude model to draw attention to one of its campaigns.
In Des Moines, Iowa, Katy Robertson, an actress from South Africa, posed topless in front of a sign decrying cruelty to circus animals. With chains on her legs and arms and fake stripes placed on her bare back to simulate the whip marks trainers inflict on their animals Robertson says she “exposed a little skin to expose the cruelty to circus animals.” She says, “I’m proud of doing this, and it’s the most worthwhile thing I could be doing.”
What she failed to mention that when you’re an aspiring actress, getting a little publicity for a charitible cause doesn’t hurt even if it means flashing your tits to do it.
While the photo of Robertson isn’t going to be one that young boys take into the john to whack off it does show that PETA is not above titilation to bring out the cameras. And it’s not the first time. The organization has used a nude Cindy Crawford in previous campaigns, although PETA then denounced Crawford after she signed on to model fur. Other prominent actresses and models, have also been all-to-willing to show a little T&A in the name of PR.